The Toilet Paper Pinch of 2020 - How "Out of Toilet Paper" could lead to "Out of Order"

Whilst everyone is worrying about whether or not they are about to run out of toilet paper, here at Geographe Liquid Waste we have been pondering a different question. What other rectal wiping replacements might cause a bigger-than-ben-hur blockage in our water ways and septic systems?

After a glorious long weekend in WA, many Australians have returned to replenish their fridges and homes, only to find shelves in the stores stripped of everything from Panadol to poo-paper.  The panic buying seems to be a result of fears about the current COVID-19 Corona virus, and worries that import restrictions somehow lead to a nationwide shortage of dunny roll, even though only 40% of our toilet paper actually comes from there.

For those who haven’t got caught up in the loo paper frenzy, but have found themselves short on bog roll, it might mean having to knock on the neighbors door for something other than a cup of sugar, or succumbing to the plethora of advertisements on social media, offering to sell toilet rolls for upwards of $5 each.

For those up the proverbial creek without a paddle (or wipe), you may be deciding wether to treat your behind to that patchouli-scented wet wipe, or you might think the political section of the local rag will do just fine.  Whatever your situation, we would urge you to consider the final resting place for your chosen loo paper replacement.

The damage that flushing non toilet paper items does to waterways and septics alike may quite possibly end up being more of a problem that the lack of toilet paper itself. 

If your septic system fails or the mains sewers have a major blockage, you might end up with a sign on your toilet that reads “Out of Order”, rather than “Out of Toilet Paper”.

If you live in a house with a septic system, this shouldn’t be news to you.  For others living in houses that are connected to mains sewers, an increase to the amount of non toilet paper items being flushed down the toilet put an unnecessary burden on pipes and waste water treatment plants which are already full with foreign objects like false teeth, those little Stickeez “toys” that Coles keep trying to give us, and all the goldfish that didn’t quite survive the water change on a hot summers day whilst the tank was being cleaned.

Our advice is that other than your bodily business, only a sparing amount of toilet paper should ever be flushed down the toilet (See our other article “Are Flushable Wipes Really Flushable?”)

So whilst you wait for the dust on this stool storm to settle, please be kind to your bottom, your toilet, and the environment.  For people on septics, maybe now would be a good time to consider that pump out that you’ve been putting off.  You can get in touch with Damian and myself on 0429 372 913. 

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